Identity

Shilpi was her gregarious best at the party. Wearing an azure blue saree, she was looking all resplendent and vivacious. But among these glitz and glamour lied an emptiness difficult to fathom for an outsider. Her smiles were all too wry as if strangulated from inside. Not that she had something to complain about her life. She was endowed with a sprawling Bungalow near the posh Jayanagar area in Bangalore, a husband who is a high flying corporate honcho, caring in-laws and what not!  She herself had a cushy job as an actuary in a foreign firm. But there was something else at the pretext. Shilpi, a lady in her late 20s, is a Bengali from Kolkata who did her engineering in the prestigious R.V. College from Bangalore. She met Krishna, a Kannadiga who was one year senior to him at R.V. and fell in love with him eventually. Marrying him was a difficult proposition, against the wish of her parents, family members and even few of her Bengali friends. It was a smooth ride though for the first few months post marriage. However, as time started passing by, she started developing a sense of alienation to the place and its people. Ironically, it started in her family itself when Krishna started becoming ritualistically rigid on many issues. Initially she ignored those altercations between them as forgettable but later she assumed them to be a derivation from her being a non-Kannadiga. In the office space too, people had a different take on an ‘outsider’ earning bread in Bangalore that made her uncomfortable. In the social circle too, people made avoidable comments. Her broken Kannada was of little help and many started trolling her indirectly. The language and cultural barrier was taking its toll and she became dry from inside.

It was 1’o clock at night and the party was over and she slowly made her way to the car after bidding good bye to the host. Ramana was waiting for her near the gate. This loyal driver of her in law’s family is a soft spoken quinquagenarian. He opened the door for her and she quietly slid her way into the big sedan, resting her aching back on the leather crafted seat. Whitefield to jayanagar is a 30 minutes journey at this traffic less time. As the car started moving, she brooded over the chain of events happening in her life. Why does she feel like getting ostracized more and more? Why does she feel like getting into the clutches of anonymity? The inner burden coupled with a tiring party made her look clueless and perplexed. 

She was about to doze off and the car stopped with a screaming screech near! ‘Ramana, what happened? She exclaimed! ‘Madamji, look in front!’ Shilpa anxiously looked in front and saw around four people standing in front of the car stopping it from moving forward. Ramana moved his head out and asked them to move. They came close and started speaking to him in the native language. It went on for few minutes before one of them asked Shilpa something in kannada. Shilpa replied, ‘kya keh rehen ho bhaiya, kannada gothilla’ (I don’t know kannada)! That was it! The people, apparently drunk, started hurling abuses at her. To her sheer horror, one of the miscreants tried opening the back door. In a blink of an eye Ramana came out and pounced on those four and a melee followed. Shilpa started shouting for help. It all happened near the Silk board crossing and luckily for her a nearby police patrol rushed in quickly and nabbed two of them before the other two ran into the darkness beside the service road. Ramana was bleeding profusely and was taken to St. Joseph’s hospital nearby. Shilpa and Krishna both attended Ramana many a times for the next few days unless he was completely out of danger.

One week has passed since the incident and it is still a nightmare for the 20 something. She just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Anything could have happened that day! It’s not that she has not heard about these type of incidents before in Bangalore but the fact that it was she who faced it made her nervous. She couldn’t stopped thanking Ramana more. She owes a lot to this man.

Next Sunday she was going through the newspaper while sipping her tea. She was flipping the pages in a careful careless manner when her eyes stuck on this small news piece. It mentioned that The ‘Bengalis in Bangalore’ community was looking for a rented place for their office! She had a wide smile on her face as their two bedroomed ground floor apartment was vacant. She called up Krishna immediately and to her utter surprise Krishna happily agreed on this proposal. He even wished to convince her parents. After a long time Shilpa was smiling. Why everything is suddenly looking hunky-dory? Nothing apparently changed but it seems all have changed. She was baffled with the paradox.

The same Bangalore which treated her inconsistently have people like Ramana. It is the same city where a kannadiga’s house was given for rent to so called ‘outsiders’. So what has changed? She started looking things from a different prism now. ‘What did I do to make myself comfortable to the city?’ She had a monologue, ‘always kept on expecting things in my favour’! It was time for her to move forward. She has promised herself not to complain anymore and confront the issues head on.

After opening her laptop and carefully scanning through the local yellow pages, she seemed happy with what she has got. She picked up the phone and called, ‘Hello, this is Shilpi from jayanagar.Do you teach kannada?’!!